Cultural Revolutionary

Cornwallis:“You know, this is not the conduct of a gentleman.”
Benjamin:“If the conduct of your officers is the measure of a gentleman, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

The Dance

by Cornelius Eady

When the world ends,
I will be in a red dress.
When the world ends,
I will be in a smoky bar
…..on Friday night.
When the world ends,
I will be a thought-cloud.
When the world ends,
I will be steam in a tea kettle.
When the world ends,
I will be a sunbeam through
…..a lead window,
And I will shake like the
…..semis on the interstate,
And I will shake like the tree
…..kissed by lightning,
And I will move; the earth will move
…..too,
And I will move; the cities will move
…..too,
And I will move, with the remains of
…..my last paycheck in my pocket.
It will be Friday night
And I will be in a red dress,
My feet relieved of duty,
My body in free-fall,
Loose as a ballerina
…..in zero gravity,
Equal at last with feathers
…..and dust,
As the world faints and tumbles
…..down the stairs,
The jukebox is overtaken at last,
And the cicadas, under the eaves,
…..warm up their legs.

I was recently made aware of the true feelings of someone I thought I knew. It turns out that she’s not the person that I thought she was for so many years. Or, more exactly, she is an even bigger hypocrite than I thought she was.

We’re all so inherently human. And we all make such huge mistakes throughout our lives. We’re all just muddling through life doing the best we can and trying hard to make the best decisions at the moment. If we’re completely honest with ourselves and each other, the truth is that we all have regrets and things we’d change if given the opportunity. That’s part of our humanity.

So, it has shocked me immensely that someone that I had always looked up to as being so open-minded and different in her own life choices would judge others for their similar personal decisions. I’m having a hard time trying to decide whether to be disappointed in her thoughts and behaviors or whether to be utterly disgusted with her. I am fighting the urge from deep down inside of myself to lean towards the latter.

I made it through another week. Of course, it’s not that my weeks are particularly hard. My jobs are fairly easy (for me, at least) and fun most of the time. But, I am spending a lot more time away from home than I have for the past few years. And I am always on the go with a million different projects. It’s a bit of a change to go from being able to “work” in your own space and time frame(z) to getting the kids and myself ready and out the door daily between 8 and 8:30am. Of course, I’m still home more than most people. But my time away does make me happy for the weekends.

Today I have inside house stuff to do… cleaning and such. Nothing really major but there are clothes to be washed, floors to be vacuumed, trash and recycling to be taken out, etc. I meant to sleep late and begin my chores sometime around 10. But I kept hearing a strange noise (that I never did figure out the origins of) every time that I drifted back off to sleep after getting up to let the dog out. Finally, I went to investigate and in doing so, I woke Tony by going into his room. I’d thought that he might be the originator of the noise but, alas, he was sound asleep until I stepped on a Hot Wheels car. The unfortunate part is that once Tony is awake, he is AWAKE and wide open. So much for sleep… Hello world at 6:30am on a Saturday.

On a happy note though, I went to bed early last night and finished the book I was reading. The rest of the world finished Breaking Dawn (the last book in the Twilight series… see info. here: http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/breakingdawn.html ) days ago. But, in order to be Compact friendly, even though I would have allowed myself a personal exception for this book, I had to wait for a used copy to become available and then be shipped to me. I even canceled my pre-order and waited patiently while all of my online vampire loving freak friends reported back about how wonderful the book was. It truly was worth waiting for though. Seriously… This is a quote from the cover, “When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?” How could anyone not want to read that book? Yes, it’s sappy vampire BS. And yes, it certainly doesn’t even qualify as a respected piece of literary excellence. But, I’ve loved the series. Stephanie Meyer is no Poppy Z. Brite (nor are they even in the same league) but the books have been fun. Morgan gets to read it next. She’ll be happy that I read it so quickly… But, the poor kid has to do another book report before school starts on a classic before she can read a fun book. I’ll bet that she gets this report finished a lot more quickly than she did the last ones. Nothing like a new book on bloodsuckers to motivate a 13 year old…

“But maybe the rain
Isn’t really to blame
So I’ll remove the cause
But not the symptom”

No, I don’t expect most people to know this quote or care where it came from. It’s interesting though… I’ve been thinking about this all day. Cause vs. Symptom. Symptom vs. Cause. It applies to so many facets of life (and, no, I don’t want to elaborate). Just giving y’all something to ponder…

Oh… And it’s a quote from Rocky Horror… I must mention though that my favorite Frank-N-Furter quotes are actually these two:

• “Don’t be upset - It was a mercy killing. He had a certain naive charm, but no muscle.”
• “A mental mind fuck can be nice.“
  

I’m not always a big believer in these sorts of things. But, occasionally a horoscope resonates with me. To the left, you’ll see my horoscope for today from The Sun News (Myrtle Beach’s newspaper that I sometimes refer to as The Scum News). I knew it was going to be a good day because I found my missing earring this morning on my closet floor. This horoscope just reinforces my thoughts… and the thoughts I was having yesterday about cloning myself because I have many things working in my head right now…

A couple of weekends ago I took Morgan to the Goodwill in search of back to school clothes. She found a TON of great stuff. Literally, she won’t need anything else for a long while. She is almost the same size as me so we also share a lot of things.

Anyway, while we were there getting things for her, I found the cutest skirt. BRAND FREAKING NEW. The tags were still attached and it seems that the original owner, if she paid the ticket price, spent almost a hundred bucks on this sucker. My cost was $3.99. Believe it or not, I debated even spending that much because I like things that are $2 or less. And, I have lots of cute skirts. And I had vowed to do the no spend challenge on the Compact. This skirt was special though. Not only was it technically Compact friendly (except for the no spend challenge), it was even this year’s stock (the year and season are denoted on a lot of designer clothing tags if you know what you’re looking for). It was a great color/print and could be dressed up or down. It was the perfect size (I know this designer’s fit well) and just my style (or one of my styles since I change styles according to my mood). So, I talked myself into it….

Today is a horribly nasty day here in South Carolina. It’s been raining constantly since last night. So, instead of the jeans I had planned to wear, I donned my new skirt and a cute fitted white t-shirt to cheer myself up and avoid being “down” because of the rain. And it’s made me happy all day! I’ve gotten a couple of compliments on it and I have to try hard to avoid sharing my story of buying it for $3.99. Some people would understand and be happy for my find. Others would look at me like I have three heads. So, I keep my glee to myself… for the most part… LOL!

I have some great ideas right now. For some reason, my brain has been working overtime the past couple of weeks. I have WAY too many things I want to do. I even have a lot of business venture ideas in the works. Now, I just need to clone myself. And make A LOT of money so that I can follow through with the other ideas I have. It’s funny, I don’t want to make money to buy things. I want to make money to DO things and start things…

You’ll notice a few slight changes to things here. Unfortunately, even the most secure sites sometimes get hacked. That’s what happened here. Someone (a nice SPAMMER) had placed lots of little hidden code into a couple of places that I don’t check up on often. It’s more than fixed now (after three hours work last night). I am no code geek so the more intricate parts of some website building blocks elude me. But, I can muddle through… it just takes me a little longer. For the time being, my gardening, current reading list, and quotes pages are going to stay MIA. They got very little traffic anyway. I’ll just post any content for those pages into my main blog.

And I can assure you, I’ll be keeping a better eye out on things on this page. I have an idea as to who “persuaded” the attack. I’m not stupid, after all!

Strangely, about three months ago, I developed a constant twitch below my right eye. It’s barely noticeable but if someone really concentrates on my face while talking to me, I know they can see it. It’s annoying. And I can feel it. It also gets more pronounced when I am really tired.

The doctors don’t seem to know what is causing it. It doesn’t go away if I don’t look at the computer screen or read. It also doesn’t seem to be caused by any of my medications or any sort of infection.

Last week, it went away for three days. I was ecstatic that I was a bit more “normal” again. Now, it’s back without provocation.

Anyone have any ideas for me? I’ve read all of the online stuff. Most people have these twitches at some point in their lives but they seldom seem to last as long as mine has.